I Make Myself Sick

I make myself sick
When the will to keep going evaporates
I make myself lie
When the truth becomes unacceptable
I make myself quiet
When every sound is a call to arms
When every word is the tip of a blade
When every heartbeat is a betrayal
I make myself a hunted beast
With self-inflicted scars
I make myself a fairy tale
With wings but with no moral
I make myself old
When I confuse youth with age
And action with accomplishment
I make myself immortal
Then I curse the weight of time
Above it all
My light-hearted fairy princess
I make myself something that isn’t me
When I forget I love you

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