Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2015 [Unredacted version]

10.    Say goodbye to people who use, abuse, ignore, waterboard, or otherwise break your heart.

09.    Say hello to my little friend. No, littler. And friendlier.

08.    Don’t post, tweet, or text in anger, lust, drunkenness, or any of the other deadly sins.
             
               a. gluttony
               b. sloth
               c. road rage
               d. sneezy
               e. dopey

           
  

07.    Dress for success.

06.    Undress for excess.

05.    Get drunk at least once a week.

04.    Read, write, draw and/or play music every day.

03.    Avoid repetition

02.    Avoid repetition

and the number one New Year’s Resolution…..

01.    Avoid New Year’s Resolutions

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