To quote Rodney Dangerfield, “I tell ya, I’m alright now, but last week I was in rough shape.”

Last week, I was in a car crash that sent me to a hospital on a stretcher. It was strange to hear sirens coming from a distance and knowing they were for me. I’m a big fan of surrealism but I’d prefer it was further removed from my body.

As I share the story with others I am shocked to learn how many people have experienced this unique horror. One equated her experience with the pain of childbirth: she said our psyche has a way of weeding out the pain and replacing it with gratitude. I am glad it wasn’t worse. I’m even more glad that with time the love of my life and I should make a full recovery.

An experience like that makes a person, even one as shamelessly sunny as me, think about death. It is always near. As a New Yorker, I know it’s as close as a deranged freak pushing me in front of a subway. As an American, I know it’s as near as a maniac with an AR-15 splattering my insides across a wall. Spoiled food might poison me. Disease might eat my organs. Or a group of beautiful women might abduct me, drag me to their dungeon, feed me Viagra and practice their technique on my body until I die of exhaustion. Death need not be an unhappy experience.

Until that day comes, there is always the option that Jim Morrison laid out: to wake up in the morning and grab myself a beer. If I do, I’ll be sure to keep my hands away from the wheel.

Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel
Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel
Yeah, we’re going to the Roadhouse
Gonna have a real
Good time

Yeah, the back of the Roadhouse they got some bungalows
Yeah, the back of the Roadhouse they got some bungalows
And that’s for the people who like to go down slow

Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll
All night long

You got to roll, roll, roll
You got to thrill my soul, all right

Roll, roll, roll, roll
To thrill my soul
You gotta

[Jim’s scatting]

Passionate lady
Passionate lady
Give up your vows
Give up your vows
Save our city
Save our city
Right now

Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer
Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer
The future’s uncertain and the end is always near

Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll
All night long